It was many years before I overheard, in
the sense of taking in, a conversation by elders not meant for me:
though once, in my innocence, I hid under the table during the elders'
late dinner, and came out at dessert, to which we were always allowed to
come down, hoping to be an amusing surprise to them. And I could not at
all understand why I was scolded; for, indeed, I had _heard_ nothing at
all, though no doubt plenty that was unsuitable for a child's ears had
been said, and was on the elders' minds when they upbraided me.
Dearest, such a long-ago! and all these smallest of small things I
remember again, to lay them up for you: all the child-parentage of me whom
you loved once, and will again if ever these come to you.
Bless my childhood, dearest: it did not know it was lonely of you, as I
know of myself now! And yet I have known you, and know you still, so am
the more blest.--Good-night.
LETTER LXXI.
I used to stand at the foot of the stairs a long time, when by myself,
before daring to start up: and then it was always the right foot that went
first. And a fearful feeling used to accompany me that I was going to meet
the "evil chance" when I got to the corner. Sometimes when I felt it was
there very badly, I used at the last moment to shut my eyes and walk
through it: and feel, on the other side, like a pilgrim who had come
through the waters of Jordan.
Pages:
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179