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Various

"Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 12, June 18, 1870"

They have come to
me on--hem!--business, and I have improved my opportunities. A man comes
to me from a vessel, and I say 'Cork,' and give him Naturalization
Certificates for himself and his friends. Another comes, and I say
'Dublin;' another, and I say 'Belfast.' If I want to travel still
further, I take them all together and say 'the Polls.'"
"You'll do to travel, sir," responds Mr. BUMSTEAD, abstractedly helping
himself to some more lemon tea; "but I thought we were to talk about the
late Mrs. SWEENEY."
"We were, sir," says Judge SWEENEY, abstractedly removing the bowl to a
sideboard on his farther side. "My late wife, young man, as you may be
aware, was a Miss HAGGERTY, and was imbued with homage to Shape. It was
rumored, sir, that she admired me for my Manly Shape. When I offered to
make her my bride, the only words she could articulate were, "O, my!
_I_?"--meaning that she could scarcely believe that I really meant
_her_. After which she fell into strong hysterics. We were married,
despite certain objections on the score of temperance by that corrupt
Radical, her father.


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