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Birmingham, George A., 1865-1950

"The Simpkins Plot"


"When you've finished making that mess worse than it is," said Meldon,
"and covering your own fingers all over with ink in such a way that it
will take days of careful rubbing with pumice-stone to get them clean,
perhaps you'll go on telling me why you call this fellow Simpkins a
meddlesome ass. I was up early this morning, owing to the baby's being
restless during the night. Did I mention to you that she's got
whooping-cough? Well, she has, and it takes her in the form of a rapid
succession of fits, beginning at 10 p.m. and lasting till eight the
next morning. That was what happened last night, so, as you'll readily
understand, I want to get to bed in good time to-night. It may, it
probably will, take hours to drag your grievance out of you, and I
don't see any use in wasting time at the start."
"I paid twenty guineas for that carpet," said the Major. "It's a
Persian one."
"Has that anything to do with Simpkins? Did he force you to buy the
carpet, or did he try to prevent you?"
"No, he didn't. I wouldn't let the beast inside this house."
"Very well then. Don't go on about the carpet. Tell me plainly and
straightforwardly why you call Simpkins a meddlesome ass.


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