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Birmingham, George A., 1865-1950

"The Simpkins Plot"

If I'm ever asked to
preach before the House of Commons I shall give it to them."
This account of Meldon's theory of sermons made the Major a little
nervous. He asked his next question anxiously.
"Are you going to be personal, J. J.? I hope not."
"I can't preach the whole sermon to you beforehand, Major; but I don't
mind telling you that it will deal with the vice of squabbling which I
find rampant in small communities. I shan't, of course, mention you
and Simpkins; or, for the matter of that, Doyle and O'Donoghue, though
it wouldn't matter much if I did mention them. Being Roman Catholics,
they won't be there to object."
"The sermon will be personal, then?"
"No, it won't. I shan't even allude to the subject of fishing. I
shall preach in such a way as to get at everybody who has ever
quarrelled with anybody else. After listening to what I say, you will
be much more inclined to take Simpkins out in the _Spindrift_."
Meldon's sermon was all that he boasted. He chose as his text a verse
out of the Book of Proverbs which compares any one who meddles
unnecessarily with strife to a man who takes a dog by the ears.


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