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Birmingham, George A., 1865-1950

"The Simpkins Plot"

It ought to have been perfectly obvious
that I couldn't have brought the Major here. Even you, with your
extraordinary faculty for making mistakes about perfectly simple
things, must be able to see that."
"If you didn't bring him," said the judge, "I suppose he came by
himself. Very likely he fell into the same mistake that my niece and I
did. He may have thought you wanted him to marry her."
"He can't possibly have thought anything of the sort. I've told him
all along--in fact, it was really his plan."
"That Simpkins should marry my niece?"
"Yes. We've talked it over a dozen times at least."
"Of the two," said the judge, "I'd rather have the Major for a nephew.
I scarcely know him, and I don't know Simpkins at all; but judging
simply by appearances, I should say that the Major is the better man."
"He is, decidedly. Simpkins is in every way his inferior. The fact
is--I don't want to say anything to hurt your feelings."
"Don't mind my feelings. They're accustomed to laceration."
"Well, I think the Major is too good a man to--"
"You can't expect me to agree with you there," said the judge. "But I
appreciate your point of view, and I respect your feeling of affection
for your friend.


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