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Tyler, Royall, 1757-1826

"The Contrast"



JONATHAN
Why, as to fortune, I must needs say her father is
pretty dumb rich; he went representative for our town
last year. He will give her--let me see--four times
seven is--seven times four--nought and carry one,--
he will give her twenty acres of land--somewhat
rocky though--a Bible, and a cow.

JESSAMY
Twenty acres of rock, a Bible, and a cow! Why, my
dear Mr. Jonathan, we have servant-maids, or, as you
would more elegantly express it, waitresses, in this
city, who collect more in one year from their mistresses'
cast clothes.

JONATHAN
You don't say so!--

JESSAMY
Yes, and I'll introduce to one of them. There
is a little lump of flesh and delicacy that lives at next
door, waitress to Miss Maria; we often see her on the
stoop.

JONATHAN
But are you sure she would be courted by me?

JESSAMY
Never doubt it; remember a faint heart never--
blisters on my tongue--I was going to be guilty of a
vile proverb; flat against the authority of Chester-
field. I say there can be no doubt that the brilliancy
of your merit will secure you a favourable reception.

JONATHAN
Well, but what must I say to her?

JESSAMY
Say to her! why, my dear friend, though I admire
your profound knowledge on every other subject, yet,
you will pardon my saying that your want of oppor-
tunity has made the female heart escape the poignancy
of your penetration.


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