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Tyler, Royall, 1757-1826

"The Contrast"

The
places where you must smile, look grave, or laugh out-
right, are marked below the line. Now look over me.
"There was a certain man"--now you must smile.

JONATHAN
Well, read it again; I warrant I'll mind my eye.

JESSAMY
"There was a certain man, who had a sad scolding
wife,"--now you must laugh.

JONATHAN
Tarnation! That's no laughing matter though.

JESSAMY
"And she lay sick a-dying";--now you must titter.
JONATHAN
What, snigger when the good woman's a-dying!
Gor, I--
JESSAMY
Yes, the notes say you must--"and she asked her
husband leave to make a will,"--now you must begin
to look grave;--"and her husband said"--

JONATHAN
Ay, what did her husband say? Something dang'd
cute, I reckon.

JESSAMY
"And her husband said, you have had your will all
your life-time, and would you have it after you are
dead, too?"

JONATHAN
Ho, ho, ho! There the old man was even with
her; he was up to the notch--ha, ha, ha!

JESSAMY
But, Mr. Jonathan, you must not laugh so. Why
you ought to have tittered piano, and you have
laughed fortissimo. Look here; you see these marks,
A, B, C, and so on; these are the references to
the other part of the book. Let us turn to it, and you
will see the directions how to manage the muscles.
This [turns over] was note D you blundered at.


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