297.] but surprising allusions,
brilliant sallies of vivacity, and pleasant conceits. His speeches in
parliament are strewed with them. Take, for instance, the variety which
he has given in his wide range, yet exact detail, when exhibiting his
Reform Bill. And his conversation abounds in wit. Let me put down a
specimen. I told him, I had seen, at a _Blue stocking_ assembly, a
number of ladies sitting round a worthy and tall friend of ours,
listening to his literature. 'Ay, (said he) like maids round a
May-pole.' I told him, I had found out a perfect definition of human
nature, as distinguished from the animal. An ancient philosopher said,
Man was 'a two-legged animal without feathers,' upon which his rival
Sage had a Cock plucked bare, and set him down in the school before all
the disciples, as a 'Philosophick Man.' Dr. Franklin said, Man was 'a
tool-making animal,' which is very well; for no animal but man makes a
thing, by means of which he can make another thing. But this applies to
very few of the species. My definition of _Man_ is, 'a Cooking animal.'
The beasts have memory, judgment, and all the faculties and passions of
our mind in a certain degree; but no beast is a cook. The trick of the
monkey using the cat's paw to roast a chestnut, is only a piece of
shrewd malice in that _turpissima bestia_, which humbles us so sadly by
its similarity to us.
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